Happy Valentines Day

Sunset from Our Balcony

                Today we celebrate St. Valentine’s Day, and I must say that this one is very different to the first one I celebrated in England, back in 1988.  A pronounced difference in mind-set existed between Americans and the British. 

          Let me explain the background of my first British Valentines’ Day.  I arrived at Holmsted Manor in January 1988, one of three Americans in a group of about 35 people registered to participate in a Discipleship Training School; Youth With A Mission’s foundational training programme.

          Holmsted Manor sits out in a rural area, off Staplefield Road in Cuckfield, West Sussex.  The house was built in 1891, and had several owners before Youth With A Mission bought it in 1975, with the first Discipleship Training School (DTS) starting at that location in 1976. 

YWAM has a “No Dating” policy in place for all students attending Discipleship Training Schools.  Although many people have found their future spouses while participating in a DTS, the students are asked to defer developing “romantic” relationships for the duration of the training.  This is a reasonable request, as the DTS lasts between four and six months.  I will qualify this by saying that if a couple come to a DTS and they are already engaged, then that is acceptable.  But the focus of a DTS is to focus on getting to know God and learn how to share the gospel.

In November of 1987 I ended an engagement.  I had met “D.E.”  through working in the same office as him.  But I realised that “D.E.” was not the right person, so the relationship ended.  It was a painful time, and I was going through the grief process.  Yet I knew that my time in England was a special time for me and my relationship with God. 

Each day the community of YWAM staff and students met for lunch and supper in the dining room.  The dining room was to the left as you walked into the manor.  There were floor-to-ceiling windows, a bay window in the back and parquet floors.  Wooden tables and chairs provided seating, six at a table. 

Against the background noise of cutlery dinging on china, tea cups being placed on saucers and chairs scooting against the wooden floor, there was chatter.  Often you would hear laughter at other tables.  We swapped stories, learned about each other and our different cultures.

We were three or four weeks into the lecture phase of the DTS, and Valentine’s Day was approaching.   Americans believe in “including everybody”—so I mentioned that I was having trouble finding a Valentines’ day card for my Mom and one for my sister. 

WELL …imagine my surprise when I was immediately reproved. 

“Valentines Day is only for couples!”  The Brits were adamant! 

“But Valentine’s Day is about love.  And what about people who aren’t married, or in a relationship?”

“It doesn’t matter!  Valentines is for romance!”  

“Okay.”  I resigned myself.  But I still made a card for my Mom and sent it.  

I’ve had several Valentine’s Days since then.  I think the Brits have become a little more relaxed about sharing loving messages with family and good friends.  But the emphasis is still on romance.

I’m glad that God has given us the gift of romance.  I’m amazed and astounded that the Creator of the Universe is head-over-heels in love with me.  And I’m thankful the Lord has blessed me with my own husband; a husband who makes most days Valentine’s Day.

Serving Jesus, Author of our faith,

"Lady Helene"