Giving things some thought

At Wittering Beach, 2007

          There is nothing like putting pressure on one’s self and wondering how much of the pressure is valid and how much is unrealistic. 

          In January I set a goal for myself to write 200 blog entries for the year.  In order to know how many posts I would need to do each week, I divided 200 by 52 weeks.  This number is 3.85 posts—rounded up to 4 posts a week.  At present I am 13 posts behind, that is 3 ¼ weeks behind schedule. 

          This brings me to asking some questions:

1.       How do I get on track with making 200 posts this year?  I could try doing two posts a day for three weeks.

2.     But I find myself asking: “Will I be posting for the sake of posting, just to make up the numbers?”

3.     What is my purpose for blogging? 

4.    Is it more important to meet a set target of blog posts—some of which will have no real significance, existing merely to meet a goal? 

5.     I want my posts to be meaningful.  But does every post have to have great meaning? 

6.    Is it better to forget a target and focus on writing pieces I have put considerable thought into? 

7.     Will I lose my impetus in writing regularly if I set aside the goal I set for myself?  Shouldn’t I keep reaching to achieve the 200, even if I don’t succeed?

8.     Is part of the reason that I’m not posting because I sometimes find that the day-to-day is so repetitive that it doesn’t bear telling about? 

9.    Should I be setting other goals, and these are goals I can be writing about?  For example, I love Great British Bake Off.  What if I make a list of the weekly challenges and then blog about what I baked?  For instance, one week the contestants bake biscuits/cookies and therefore I challenge myself to bake a recipe for biscuits I’ve never done before.  In that way I take you along on my journey.

In 1994 I found myself sitting in a classroom with several other people who were attending a three-month School of Writing.  The first couple of days the teacher laid foundations—not of grammar, syntax and punctuation.  Rather, learning how to focus one’s writing by asking the right questions before the writing begins.  Of the three main questions, two apply to this blog. 

1)      Who is my audience?

2)    What is my take-away?  (What is the main point I am trying to make?

3)    What format do I want to use—thematic or story-telling?      

As a blog, this allows me to write both thematic pieces and tell stories.   I can share a recipe, which is thematic (how-to).  I can also share anecdotes, which are short stories about events in my life.  And as a blog, both are appropriate.

So the two most important questions are, “Who is my audience?”  Logically, my audience consists of family and friends.  In either case, I keep wondering if I am making my blog posts interesting and relevant to them.  I occasionally get feedback, which does keep me motivated.  It also lets me know I am on track. 

Each time I sit down at my desk and power up my computer, I am asking myself: “What is the point of this piece? Do I want them to laugh at my cute Maisy?  Do I want them to try the recipe I shared?  Will they be able to understand, relate to, identify with the lessons I have learned?  If I ask myself these questions, then it affects how I write the piece, what I share in the story, who I write about and identify the people involved and also when I share something.

Although I know I have more readers than followers, one of the things I would love to accomplish is to increase the number of followers I have.  Right now the number is twelve.  I often wonder how other bloggers, whose blogs I read and follow, recruited over 100—even up to 1,000 followers.  Perhaps it is an ego thing to want to reach lots of people with what I write.  In one of the books I read about blogging, it said that one thing that helps create a following is to post on a regular basis.  But the draw for the reader must be reading worthwhile content. 

By setting myself the goal of writing 200 blog posts in 2016 I aspired to learn consistency, perseverance and discover a topic that I really enjoyed writing about. 

The Singleness Series seems to be attracting the most readers.  Some lessons I learned apply to everyone—whether single or married.  By writing about my single years, I want to present the mindset and struggles of people who are/have been single, yet yearn for companionship.  Therefore, it seems prudent to keep writing about it. 

Right now, catching up and posting 14 outstanding blogs entries seem impossible.  But I really think I need to push through, because finishing the task is a reward in itself.  I will put my mind to the task of writing, finding ways that will be meaningful as well as efficient.  I may not have all the answers right now…but because I believe that many of you are waiting and interested, I will press on.

Serving Jesus, Author of our faith,

“Lady Helene”

Singleness Five--"You Should Be A Writer"

Possible Book Back Jacket Photo

“You Should be A Writer.”

          First of all, thank you to all of the people who have been so kind to take the time to read my posts.  I greatly appreciate it.  And to those who have left comments or sent replies, a second thanks for your time, energy and thoughts.  

          Secondly, it seems that having a theme is a good idea.  I’ve been reviewing the statistics and the most read of my blogs posts are the ones I’ve written about my thoughts and experiences of singleness.  

          This leads me to point number three:  I don’t know how many articles/posts there will be in this series of “Singleness” posts.  I didn’t set out a meet a specific number of posts—so we both will just have to wait and see what unfolds.

          I’m sharing my experiences because maybe it will help others who have never married, or who find themselves single again because of broken relationships, divorce or death.  

          What kept me going mentally and emotionally was the “Pre-marriage Goals List.”  As mentioned before, those were: 1) live on my own; 2) write a book and 3) see England. 

          I’ve touched on learning to live responsibly as a single person.  So, now I’ll move on to the second item on the list; Write a book.  

To be honest, my daydreams as a young teen into my 20’s, was to become a well known writer.  I even pondered what it would be like to write a best-seller.

I daydreamed of sitting on the interviewee’s couch on talk shows, doing book signings and posing for different back cover photos.  

 I’ve never achieved that because I have not developed the personal disciple to achieve this.  I have not conquered my fears or overcome the obstacles.  This objective deserves some more unpacking emotionally—which is too complicated for this blog.  Bottom line, writing and publishing a book was more about creating a name for myself than being independent.  Saying it another way, I wanted to be known for myself, not as some body’s wife.

          I’ve always been a daydreamer.  My imagination helped me cope through my younger years when our family was on the move.  But the idea of being a writer began to formulate in my brain in the months following my 13^th birthday.  I’m not sure why.  

          I speculate that it was because my father had wanted to be a writer.  Another reason was that I was an avid reader—my escape from the everyday life of a small Midwestern community.  I found that people were often listening to me when I shared stories or retold jokes.  I think too, I wanted to find a way to share the message of Jesus and His amazing love. 

          While still a young teen-ager, I remember a moment when a still, small voice spoke in my mind.  “The season you will write, is after you’ve married and have children.”  I still wanted to write a book before I got married; there was nothing to contradict that.  It was the desire to make my mark before I joined forces with someone else.

          I did write a book manuscript before I got married.  Here is the story of how it happened.

          On a November night in 1993, I lie in my queen-sized bed in the dark.  My heart was broken.  My journey into the future did not look like a fork in the road.  Nor did it look like a cross-road.  Rather it had the appearance of a dead end.

          Educationally my academic standing was at 1 ½ years of college credits. At that point in time I refused to take out loans for college.  So, it seemed as though returning to college—even part time—was not feasible.

          Professionally, I was employed as a clerk-typist for the state of Indiana.  Although my job required skills as an administrative assistant, the job was classified as a level four clerk-typist position.  Since it was a government job, the only way to “move up” was to apply for level three positions.  But it was not a job that inspired me, nor allowed me to use my creativity.  Yet, I had learned to be content in it, and do it as though for the Lord.  

          Emotionally I was working through the grief of a broken engagement.   I was 35 and my hope of marriage and family was shattered.  Although my former fiancé and I could communicate well as friends, we disagreed about the important issues.  

          “D. J.” broke our engagement in August.  It was now the middle of November.  In those weeks in between, I’d talked to several people.  They suggested going back into YWAM.  Five years had passed since the door to returning to England had closed.

          I revisited my 1988 plan to return to YWAM Earl’s Court.  Their ministry focused on reaching out to the homosexual community, drug addicts and other people in crisis.  I was not a trained counsellor.  The other staff positions were for administrators and clerical workers.  

            The Holy Spirit said to me:  “If you are unfulfilled as a secretary in paid employment, what makes you think you would be fulfilled doing it as a missionary in England?”   I knew I wouldn’t be satisfied; another dead end.

          At that time in my life, the financial front was limited to my bi-monthly pay from Indiana and the pay from a part-time job.  Because I’d decided to rent by myself instead of finding a roommate, I had to work two jobs just to cover all my expenses.  If I’d gone to YWAM I would have had to raise the support to cover rent living in London.  I had no savings.

          Lying in bed, watching the headlight beams from passing cars dance along the walls and ceilings, I sighed.  It felt like my life’s journey had arrived in a cul-de-sac, going in circles and going nowhere.  

          I prayed the only prayer I knew how to pray:  “Now what, God?  I don’t want to work in an office the rest of my life.  I can’t afford to go back to college.  The wedding is cancelled.  Marriage is not going to happen.  So, now what?”

          “I did not call you to be a missionary.  I called you to be a writer.”  The Heavenly Father’s voice was so kind, so sweet and gentle.  I was comforted.  That desire from childhood now made sense to me.  

          From that day forward, I felt that I was on the verge of change.  I resumed work on a correspondence course through the now defunct Christian Writers’ Guild.  I wrote a series of devotionals to be used at our church’s Ladies Retreat.  

          It was in February that a friend and I were sitting on the end of my bed reading the YWAM Global Opportunities book.  That book listed all the YWAM bases in the world, as well as all the training schools.

          A listing for a base in Texas caught my attention.  I rang (phoned) my mom.

          “Hi Mom!  Guess what I just found?”

          “I’m listening.”  She reassured me.

          “Out of curiosity, I was looking for ministries to Native Americans and Reservations and came across this.  It says, School of Writing, with topics of thematic writing, fiction, magazine article writing, etc.” I enthused.  

          “That’s interesting.” She observed.  “Yes, you should check it out.”

          I thought about writing a letter.  Instead, I made a phone call.  That phone call provided me with the information I needed.  The School was to start in September 1994.  I was the first student to apply and was accepted.

          Following the completion of the school, I applied for a three-month book writing internship.  I wrote the first three chapters of the book during that time.  I applied to join YWAM Woodcrest, to help staff the School of Writing.  I finished my manuscript in 1995.  

          Through a friend, it was given a critique by two professional editors.  But the critiques got lost in the mail.  I’ve made lots of false starts on re-writing it.  As yet, I have not made the commitment needed to stick to it and finish it.  I must say, it haunts me.

           

          What is my point about sharing this, in reference to singleness?  As I was writing this, I realised that each person in the world needs to have the experience of discovering his/her own God-given purpose.  

          For me marriage carried the expectation that I would have to support, encourage and even enable my husband to follow and fulfil God’s call on His life.  There was the potential to establish my identity through wrapping myself up with supporting him (whoever he was).   

          “Write a book” was my young self stating my need to confirm my talent and then “be about My Father’s business.”  To successfully complete a manuscript I would be embracing the talents God had blessed me with, plus give myself a sense of identity apart from another person.  

          So, for the last thirteen years I’ve been in the season of which I was supposed to be writing.  And I have not ignored writing, but neither have I totally invested with my will.  Until now.

          Writing 200 blog posts in 2016 is my way of getting serious about fulfilling my call.  The habit of writing will be established and hopefully I a passion will be created.  

Serving Jesus, Author of our faith,

“Lady Helene”

A bit of thought about resolutions

Sunset, Sunday, 3rd January 2016

Sunset from our balcony, Sunday, 3 January 2016

                The tradition of making resolutions at the beginning of a New Year is so common that I’ve just always accepted it as a part of our culture, without ever wondering about its origin.  The common acceptance that, even with the best of intentions, most people don’t keep them, makes the tradition at best, an amusing pastime, and at worst, another stick of accusation and shame with which to beat up one’s self.  

                As a teenager, I made resolutions only to disappoint myself with not following through.  I made resolutions based upon cultural and even seasonal expectations.  After a while, I realised that just because a society or a community held a certain expectation, it didn’t mean that I had to participate.  It was pointless to say something I did not mean.

 As my relationship with Jesus grew I began to pray about the things God wanted to do in my life for the year ahead.  If my spiritual, emotional, intellectual and physical growth were areas that God wanted me to mature into, then I knew the Holy Spirit would be leading me.  Therefore, when I missed the mark, the Holy Spirit would either bring conviction for wrong choices or give encouragement for correct choices.  

With the New Year being still fresh, it is a good time to ask myself some questions:

•  What is a resolution?
•  What is the origin of New Year’s resolution?
•   Is it worth making a resolution? 
•   Is there a difference between making a resolution and setting a goal?

• What is a resolution?  This definition comes from the Cambridge on-line dictionary. 

1)   An official decision that is made after a group or organization has voted:  to approve/adopt a resolution [The United Nations passed(=voted to support) a resolution to increase aid to developing nations.]

2)      A promise to yourself to do or to not do something [Addie said she would never swear again.]

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/resolution

That is clear enough; a resolution is a promise, a decision that is made. 

                What is the origin of New Year’s resolution?   Apparently, making resolutions goes back to the time of the Babylonians, when they would promise to pay off debts and return borrowed items.  Often there was a religious association in the practice.  Romans would make pledges to the God, Janus, at the beginning of a new year.  Both Jewish and Christian believers took the time to prayerfully prepare for the new year by reflecting on their behaviour in the past and consider how to make restitution to others or/and make changes in their lifestyle.  Whether or not a person is a Christian, (or even religious)  the fundamental principle of making resolutions is that of becoming a better person.  For more information, you can look Wikipedia.  

• Is it worth making a resolution? 

Given that it is common knowledge that most people who make resolutions don’t keep them, it seems a fair question; is it worth making a promise for which there is a strong possibility it won’t be kept?  Several factors affect the making of a resolution:  circumstances, motivation, purpose and the person.  This question is a topic worthy of a separate blog post of its own.  So, I shall defer answering this question by saying, yes, no and maybe.  

• ·Is there a difference between making a resolution and setting a goal? 

A resolution is a promise made by an individual, a group or even a government.  A goal involves a set task with a timeline and plans explaining the steps required to accomplish the task.  So, it is certain that in order for resolutions to be kept, it requires thought as to the how and when it will be initiated and concluded.   In my opinion one can make a resolution without setting a goal.  And one can have goals to reach without making an official resolution.  But in order for a resolution to be kept, it requires creating a concrete agenda with appropriate instructions.  

There is a timeless and universal need in each one of us that desires to improve, and hopefully better the world we live in.  Therefore making resolutions is not a new concept or activity.  For some individuals it is an annual task, just part of the year-end “to-do” list.  You know, “Buy presents, cook the turkey, decorate the house, find child-minder for New Year ’s Eve and oh yes, make a resolution.”  But for other persons making a resolution is about taking stock of his/her life, seeing what changes he/she wants to make and then taking the time to plan it out and do it.  

So, how do I write between 185 and 200 blog posts this year?  A year is 365 days—and this is a leap year, so 366 days.  Divide that by 2 and we get 183 days.  Okay, set a goal to post a blog every-other-day.  Or, there are seven days in a week, and 52 weeks in the year.  If I assign myself the job of writing a blog on Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays that becomes four times fifty-two (4 x 52) which equals 208 blog posts.  However, if I write one post three days a week that gives me 156 blogs.  

Maybe the next blog will be about “Is it worthwhile to make a resolution?”

Serving Jesus, Author of our faith!

“Lady Helene”